Archive |

Say yes to the ex?

14 Jul

I don’t like to say that I’ve had a lot of boyfriends, lovers, man friends, etc, but there are some guys in my past. And most of those guys come with weird yet wonderful stories that could only happen to me. But some others are pretty normal (i.e. no teeth falling out during dinner or letting me know that they were in prison for four years right in the middle of eating an appetizer), cue in Saturday night.

Saturday night I went out with my ex boyfriend from college. We dated a loooooong time ago- I’m talking 2003 but have kept in touch on and off since then.

I’ve never been a girl who really keeps in touch with exes. Most of the time it has been the cycle of break up, hate each other and never talk to each other again. And I’m ok with that. I go with the school of thought that they are an ex for a reason.

With this particular ex, It was a bit of a rocky road getting back to friend status or just to where I wouldn’t be a complete beezy to him. He hurt me very badly and it took awhile for me to get over it. The last time I saw him was in 2005 when I first moved to Charlotte. He visited for a weekend however I always wanted a do over since that was before I started losing weight and looked like a hot mess. We tried to meet up a few times since then but one of us would always cancel on each other and it just wasn’t in the stars.

When driving up to DC last week, I texted him on a whim. I really wasn’t planning on talking to him or letting him know I was in the area. He lives about in WV so it’s a bit of a drive with the distance + traffic. But I texted him anyways and he asked if I wanted to go for dinner, drinks, etc. I hesitated answering him then finally said yes.  I was nervous and I don’t know why. It took me awhile to get over him and I feel like I’m finally at a good place with where we stand. I was nerve wracked the entire day of, I don’t know if it was old feelings coming up or what but I was just straight up nervous. I kept asking my friend what if he doesn’t show up or what if he thinks I’m ugly, as if we never met or anything.  He text me that he was on his way but would be there late because of an accident so I just waited some more and enjoyed a beverage. He arrived and I went out to his car, we hugged and were on our way to Georgetown. Driving there, it was weird. It was comfortable in the fact like I felt like no time had passed since we saw each other but also because we got along so well that it was as if he never broke my heart. There were times where a minute or two would go by without us talking and it wasn’t awkward. After battling traffic in Georgetown, we finally found a parking spot and walked around, had dinner and a couple of beers (and yes, he paid for everything thank you)

After the bar, we ended up sitting near some canal waterway and talked…..for two hours. About life, college, how we’ve changed, etc. Nothing really too interesting but it was just nice because it wasn’t awkward. He would ask me a question now and then but he talked the most so it was a lot of listening on my part. Anyone who knows me knows I can be a talker so any time that weight is taken off of my shoulder, I gladly take it. As soon as knew it, it was around midnight so he drove me home, dropped me off, said good bye and waived good bye. I don’t know i I was expecting something more other than that but it was weird to be so platonic with each other. The whole thing was just weird yet comfortable at the same time. He texted me the next day saying something along the lines of “hey let’s do it again”  so it was nice to see that the entire night wasn’t a bust and boring to him. I put effort into looking good but wasn’t heart aflutter like I would have been if this was five years ago. This whole being friends with an ex thing just perplexes me since I really don’t talk to any of mine after the fact. Maybe I could stay on good terms with him without old feelings coming back into play? With him, we always had a good rapport but other exes couldn’t even carry on a conversation so I think I would go batty if I were friends with them after the fact.  Some of my friends stay in contact with their exes and others write them off like I have done with a lot of mine so I think it’s interesting to hear what about other peoples thoughts are on the subject.

Do you say yes to the ex?