Crouching tweaker, hidden weirdo

17 Mar

So, I think I have a sign that is invisible to me but reads loud and clear to freaks to come talk to me or be near me.

Example 2,484–the gym on Tuesday night.

I got on one of the few Precor ellipticals that were open and was on my merry, ellipticaling way. I was taking it easy because my knee was still hurting quite a bit so I did a lower speed with a higher resistance. Don’t know if that’s a good system or not but it was the least pressure and pain on my knee. The elliptical next to me was soon free and enter the weirdo.

The guy who got on seemed normal. Around my age with heart rate monitor and iPod in tow. He started his workout slow and soon he was moving right along quicker than me, which was fine. But then he starting leaning towards my machine, overlooking to see how fast I was going and when he saw that, he started going quicker. Then he grabbed the elliptical handles (we were on the ellipticals with moveable arms) and started to crouch down and whooshing like he was skiing….all the meanwhile he kept peering over at my machine and how fast I was going. I don’t go to the gym to race, I go to the gym to get a workout and mind my own business. Then I looked over to see what he was doing and he was still crouching down and ellipticaling his little heart out and scratching himself profusely. His neck, his arms, his legs, you name. Tweaker, weirdo or someone with a strange medical condition? I have no clue but when my 30 minutes were up, I was happy to hop off and do some upper body strength training.

I made the purplest of purple green monsters afterwards with coconut milk, strawberries and Spirutein Blueberries N Cream protein powder

Not only was it purple and delicious, it was Lincoln approved!

Speaking of Lincoln, he had a relaxing day at the spa today and got pretty!

When I picked him up, I barely recognized him! Maybe because once again he looks like Mr. Bigglesworth?

For dinner, I enjoyed a taco salad, second one in the past two days. I love taco salad since they are so easy to make and I generally have all the ingredients on hand.

Oh, I love the irony of having Mexican food on St. Patrick’s Day. And I will probably have corned beef and has on Cinco de Mayo because I’m spicy like that. At least I read up a bit on why we celebrate St. Patrick, get I got a holla for history!

Instead of going out tonight, I went to the gym. My 21-year-old self would be looking at me like I was a nutcase for going to the gym on one of the party nights of the year but I got up early today, was tired and didn’t feel like drinking much less dealing with the cops that are going to be on the prowl tonight. And of course, I picked an elliptical with another weirdo…..one who was singing Rod Stewart….the entire time I was on mine. I cannot stand Rod Stewart. I respect his music and all but my dad used to listen to his music all the time and a girl can only handle so much Rod Stewart in a lifetime. Along with that, I had uncomfortable underwear on. I hate when I don’t switch from work underwear to comfy underwear when I go to the gym. Um, does anyone else do this or am I the only person with work underwear….besides a hooker?

All in all, it was a good workout, I was shocked to see that the gym was packed! I thought everyone would be boozing it up or getting their last Shamrock Shake of the season but I had it all wrong.

Gym freaks-how do you handle them? Can you ignore them or do they drive you crazy?

Also, I’m looking for people to guest post for a few days next week when Lincoln and I go up to Pittsburgh. If you want to guest post, please let me know, it’s a great way to get exposure for your blog 🙂

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44 Responses to “Crouching tweaker, hidden weirdo”

  1. Kelsey @ Snacking Squirrel March 17, 2011 at 10:40 pm #

    a purple monster is a great twist on the green classic! i love the color purple and to see it like this- definitely makes me want to make one! omg Lincoln got spa-ified and looks even more handsome!! for a second there i got worried, thinking you traded Lincoln in for a new dog haha! aweee he really looks adorable- much different indeed!

    xoxo ❤

    • simplyshaka March 20, 2011 at 10:13 pm #

      Thanks! I need to get used to this “new dog” 🙂

  2. spabettie March 17, 2011 at 11:15 pm #

    girl, I am cracking up!! love the title of this post (sorry you are a tweaker – croucher magnet!), and AAAWWW!! Lincoln-wirth looks SO CUTE !!

  3. Valerie Furnas March 17, 2011 at 11:22 pm #

    Loved the title! I have the same affliction every weirdo near and wide tries to hit on me. Must have crazy magnet.

    • simplyshaka March 20, 2011 at 10:14 pm #

      Sucks doesn’t it? But on the flip side, it gives us good stories!

  4. christina March 17, 2011 at 11:52 pm #

    bahahah i can’t believe that guy tried to race you. like really? what a douche. i actually think the rod stewart guy is less weird. i want to be his friend i think. get his digits for me?

  5. burpexcuzme March 18, 2011 at 12:57 am #

    HAHHAHAHA!!! I think I would have just burst out laughing right there and then!!!! Crazy dude…why is he competing in a gym?

    I cracked up at the title too, hee hee.

  6. Stephanie March 18, 2011 at 1:26 am #

    You totally should have just given him the creep eyes and then Eye of the Tigered it out and raced him a death match. 🙂

  7. terri March 18, 2011 at 3:18 am #

    omg, tif! i barely recognized lincoln doodle bug!!! he looks so freaking cute!!

    also, i just busted out loud at your ‘friend’ at the gym. hello, mr. strange man! yikes.

    happy friday! xo

  8. Elin @andserenitytoo March 18, 2011 at 4:09 am #

    Both a weirdo AND uncomfortable underwear? You have my sympathy…
    Although when I see weirdos at my gym I view them as free entertainment, something to watch besides the re-runs of Bachelor that always seem to be on the gym TV 😉 (though that comparison game weirdo no:1 played does not equal fun…) I usually get the Lamaze-breathers beside me, hehe:) In one way I’m a little jealous of people being able to not care what others think since I am not good at that myself, especially at the gym.
    The post name really cracked me up by the way!! 😀

  9. divasrun March 18, 2011 at 5:23 am #

    HAHAHA! I cracked up just reading the title! 🙂

    I have a condo weirdo whom I’ve encountered in my fitness room. He’s been stalking me for almost 5 years. Anyway, I’m on the treadmill and he gets on the treadmill next to me and tries to start up a conversation with me while I’m CLEARLY listening to my iPod. I just yelled, “WHAT?” and kept running. Now I totally ignore him even if he tries talking to me.

  10. Amy @ Second City Randomness March 18, 2011 at 6:58 am #

    I hate people who do the creepin’ thing… a guy tried to outlast me on the treadmill the other night. He’s clearly new because I’m pretty much a staple in the workout room (aka people know how much I run).

    After they left, Mon was like, “omg, he got to 2 miles and I thought he was going to fall off the treadmill because he looked so bad…”

    Annoying.

    • simplyshaka March 20, 2011 at 10:10 pm #

      Thats awesome. No one messed with Amy!

  11. TheSceneFromMe March 18, 2011 at 7:40 am #

    I too did NOT go out last night. We went to see a play with our friends instead called Godspell.
    I’m heading to the gym now, keeping my fingers crossed for no weirdos. The other day when I was there a guy came up to me and told me I should smile more. Does he not know what focus looks like!
    I can’t guest post because I will be on vacation too.
    Have a great time!

    • simplyshaka March 20, 2011 at 10:11 pm #

      Hope you have a nice vacation!

      If that dude would have said that to me, ugh, I dont even know what I would say. It’s not like you’re in a workout DVD and supposed to be smiling like they do.

  12. According to Gus March 18, 2011 at 8:39 am #

    Ahhhh! Lincoln looks like an entirely different dog! Still cute as a button though. 🙂

  13. Stephanie @ The Cookie Battle March 18, 2011 at 9:47 am #

    Ugh gym creepers…every gym has them. I get so annoyed when people peek at my machine stats…like seriously? Pay attention to your own stats, we’re not racing. But if we were…I would totally beat you, creepy mccreeperson.

  14. Natalie @ Will Jog For Food March 18, 2011 at 9:50 am #

    Your purple monster looks so pretty!

    When I was going to LA Fitness, I tried to ignore the gym freaks but you can’t help but notice them! One lady always had an insanely loud grunt when she would do reps, and one guy always wore the same girly tank top and walked around more than worked out. So annoying!

    • simplyshaka March 20, 2011 at 10:09 pm #

      They are everywhere-I guess the freaks feel comfortable at the gym and run around like they can do anything. Annoying.

  15. MelissaNibbles March 18, 2011 at 10:04 am #

    I hate people in the gym. All of them. I would’ve just got off the treadmill and walked away.

    • simplyshaka March 20, 2011 at 10:09 pm #

      I would have but all of them were taken and I didn’t want to wait. I wish I had enough money to buy my own…..and that I had room for it as well. It would make things so much easier.

  16. Diana@mymarblerye March 18, 2011 at 10:43 am #

    Lol you have such competitive weirdo men! I haven’t had any encounters like that but I hate it when the treadmills are full and half the people are walking on them! I’m a hater! Anyways I switched to wearing pure grannie panties now cuz of the whole changing undies from work! I’m too lazy!

  17. Mindy@FindingSilverLinings March 18, 2011 at 10:58 am #

    LOL! I love the Mr. Bogglesworth pic! I swear, weirdos at the gym have a secret code that as soon as they see somebody on a cardio machine, they jump on the one directly next to them and see it as a greenlight for odd and uncomfortable staring and awkward conversation.

    • simplyshaka March 20, 2011 at 10:05 pm #

      YES!!! Glad to know you attract them as well 🙂

  18. Brittney March 18, 2011 at 11:14 am #

    Haha, Lincoln does look a little like Mr. Bigglesworth! Cute though 🙂

  19. Monique March 18, 2011 at 11:16 am #

    awww poor linky! i love linky with hair! you mean mommy! lol.

    There a lot of ppl like that, which is why i use my towel to cover the screen on my elliptical. its bad enough i have a complex about being there! you starin at my stats freaks me out!

  20. genesis March 18, 2011 at 11:33 am #

    lol. love all the weirdos who come up to you. i know, i laugh because its not happening to me but you have to admit its kind of funny 🙂

    wow, i though you got a different dog. definitely does not look like lincoln.

    • simplyshaka March 20, 2011 at 10:05 pm #

      The freaks love me, what can I say??

  21. leashieloo March 18, 2011 at 11:47 am #

    OMG, Lincoln looks like a completely different dog! Still cute though 🙂

  22. OliePants March 18, 2011 at 4:13 pm #

    You made me LOL at the freshly-shaven-Lincoln to Mr. Bigglesworth. What a cutie pie and he looks a little mad at you!! 🙂

    • simplyshaka March 20, 2011 at 10:03 pm #

      Hahaha, I think he is still a little pissed at his momma

  23. bigcitybabycarrots March 18, 2011 at 4:18 pm #

    Creepy, creepy man! Poor Lincoln is naked now!

    • simplyshaka March 20, 2011 at 10:03 pm #

      I know, it’s been a few days and I’m still not used to it. I like him fluffy 😦

  24. emily (a nutritionist eats) March 18, 2011 at 4:42 pm #

    Wow, I guess its been a while since I’ve been the gym. Apparently thats a good thing?!
    (We have a little gym in our condo building, so you have to behave because you live with them!)

    • simplyshaka March 20, 2011 at 10:02 pm #

      See, I need something like that! When I went to the one in my old apartment complex, no one was there. It was great 🙂

  25. Kace March 18, 2011 at 5:07 pm #

    I had tacos for dinner last night, ha. Me who dedicated a whole week to all things Irish.

  26. nic - the auspicious squirrel March 18, 2011 at 9:22 pm #

    Oh poor Lincoln! He has no whiskers anymore! I like him fuzzy… he’s too cute.

    • simplyshaka March 20, 2011 at 9:59 pm #

      I know, he is a completely different dog 😦

  27. lookingupwhileslimmingdown March 19, 2011 at 10:22 am #

    Maybe it’s something about being a PiPhi…we all seem to attract weirdos! That is too funny though about that guy at the gym. I would have cracked up.

    Linky looks SOOOO different! There’s a new dog at the shelter we got Riley from that looks like he could be Linky’s dad. I was going to send you the pic but I didn’t want to make you cry.

    • simplyshaka March 20, 2011 at 9:56 pm #

      What?? You should have, I would love to see what his poppa could look like. Perhaps I could take him in?

  28. adrianna March 20, 2011 at 10:34 pm #

    rod stewart…my mom LOVES him! so i can totally relate. he creeps me out majorly…i get a feeling like he’s a rapist or something. ok, thats probably extreme, but so many kids with so many women and all so young! and those outfits and hair.

    no one weird talks to me at the gym, bc no one talks to me at all. i think i’m the creeper who tries to make small talk w/ people in class or around the machines.

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