To love, to be loved, and to be a banker

21 Dec

So yesterday went by quickly whereas today dragged on. And I effed up big time at work. I noticed my mistake I made at the end of the day, had to stay late and discuss with a manager and still have to deal with it tomorrow. Plus I found some more issues with an account after I spoke with a manager and will have to figure that out as well tomorrow. I have a huge knot in my stomach since I will have to face more of this crap tomorrow and am not really looking forward to it. I know it’s not the end of the world but I hate that I don’t know what I’m doing with my role and am not confident of my abilities. The sun will come up tomorrow and the day after but I hate this feeling of dreading going into work.

  Just once, I would like to have a job that I acted liked and was semi passionate about. I hate waking up at 630A each morning, dreading the day and counting down the hours til 5 o’clock. I hate that I feel sick any time I’m about to call a customer with bad news. I hate that I work for a bank yet hate numbers. I hate that I’m too empathetic to do my job whereas other people are fine with practically driving customers to file for bankruptcy. I hate that my job (and former job) mentally exhausts me so much and has made me so bitter that I don’t have the energy to look for a relationship yet maintain one. I hate that I work for a corporation I don’t believe in. I hate that due to most of my experience within the bank, I can’t find anything else, even though I have a degree in journalism. I hate that I’m seriously considering withdrawing some of my 401K to live on for awhile so I can figure out what I want to do to with my life. I would just like to wake up Monday-Friday looking forward to something and not be completely miserable, I don’t think that’s asking for too much right? And huge brownie points for anyone who knows where the title of this post is from.

My package of goodies I ordered last week  from Sephora arriving at my door step didn’t even lift my spirits. Retail therapy, makeup and a surprise package in one?  Nope, didn’t even form a smile while opening so yeah, today wasn’t the best day.

Thank god I had a dinner plan in mind because I couldn’t handle another funky meal like last night. Since I am an emotional eater and all, I really wanted to just order take out and enjoy an insane amount of MSG from the local Chinese takeout joint but I stuck to my original plan–crescent rolls stuffed with onion and chive cream cheese and sandwich steak.

I cooked up the steak on the stovetop and seasoned with Spike seasoning. I didn’t even use oil or butter, the seasoning was the perfect thing to season with.

Then cut into little strips. Of course Lincoln got the leftovers.

I rolled out the crescent rolls to stretch them a little further than normal then spread cream cheese on them

Topped with steak bits

Then rolled up and let bake at 375 for 14 minutes.

I had broccoli on the side with a touch of spray butter and bam–quick, savory meal to end a horrid day.

Anyways, that was my day in a nutshell. Sorry if it was a bit of a downer but nothing wrong with some honesty right?

On a happier note—the winner of the Chobani giveaway is…….

Comment #13—Emily from “A Nutrionalist Eats”

emily (a nutritionist eats) December 16, 2010  “I’m liking chobani on facebook!”

Congratulations Emily! Please email me (simplyshaka @ gmail dot com) your mailing address so Chobani can send those out to you!
Thanks everyone for participating in the giveaway (if anyone knows how I can copy the damn random number generator into a post, it would be much appreciated!)

I’m going to zone out to Family Guy and get some puppy kisses from my little guy.

Hope everyone’s Tuesday was better than mine!

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19 Responses to “To love, to be loved, and to be a banker”

  1. emily (a nutritionist eats) December 21, 2010 at 10:51 pm #

    Oh, I’m sorry to hear about your bad day. I hate messing up at work and I know JUST that feeling you have in your stomach. It is awful.
    I hope that your puppy cheered you up a bit! Thank you for the Chobani!!! I have seriously only won like 2 giveaways so this is really exciting for me!!

  2. Neyal Ammary-Risch December 21, 2010 at 10:55 pm #

    Oh won ton, sorry you had such a shitty day. I know the exact feeling in the pit of your stomach you are talking about. I think we both need to quit our jobs and just buy a farm and rescue dogs.

    Think of something happy, like the Christmas Ramadan Miracle that will happen on Thursday evening…haha.

    Cheese steak things looked yummy. Tonight I made a chicken lentil stew. Dee-lish.

    Good luck tomorrow. Remember, you are awesome, we all make mistakes and we all doubt ourselves at times, esp. when it comes to work. But it will get better. I promise. 🙂

    • Neyal Ammary-Risch December 21, 2010 at 11:03 pm #

      By the way, right after I wrote this, I was reading a newsletter from my yoga teacher and in it she posed the following. I’m sharing b/c they might be helpful to get you thinking about what you REALLY want. Love ya, Ohm-girl!

      To Discover your heartfelt desire, reflect or write about these questions:

      *WHAT IS SOMETHING I REALLY WANT IN MY LIFE?

      *WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT GOAL IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW?

      *WHAT SHOULD I BE DEVOTING MY ENERGY AND RESOURCES TO?

      *WHAT IS MY BIGGEST DREAM FOR MYSELF AND MY LIFE?

      ” What actions can i commit to that are consistent with my heartfelt desire?”

      ” What needs to happen in the next 6 to 18 months to move me forward on my path? What is the first step in this direction?”

  3. Yum Yucky December 21, 2010 at 11:05 pm #

    You made me do a double take. I thought that was a fake puppy. It’s so tiny and cute like a teddy bead. Do they really come that small. Wait. That’s a REAL puppy? Oh my. I wanna hold it.

    • simplyshaka December 22, 2010 at 6:59 pm #

      Haha, he is indeed real and very lovey so he would totally take you up on yout offer of holding him. He is sitting on my lap as I type which is why it’s taking me forever to type since I have to do one key at a time. I’m such a sucker for this dog.

  4. MelissaNibbles December 22, 2010 at 4:08 am #

    I’m sorry to hear about your day. I’m in a similar situation, but I try to stay positive by telling myself that my job doesn’t define me and all I can do is bring my best self to work everyday and that will be different every day. We’re all human and we all make mistakes. It sounds like you tried to offer a solution to your boss and that’s all he can really ask for.
    I hope today is a better day for you 🙂

  5. nic - the auspicious squirrel December 22, 2010 at 5:09 am #

    Sorry to hear about your shitty day. 😐

    Lincoln love and snuggles are definitely on the menu for helping you feel better.

    I agree with Neyal Ammary-Risch…
    “you are awesome, we all make mistakes and we all doubt ourselves at times, esp. when it comes to work. But it will get better.”

    Good luck tomorrow, You.Are.Awesome.

  6. dianacheung December 22, 2010 at 7:33 am #

    i’m going through the exact same thing so hugs to you. I have a f*cking doctorate degree but white trash and just plain trash yell at me all day…it’s disheartening. It’s to the point where Glenn asked me what I want to do when I moved and I was like “go back to school”. I understand and at the end of day you have to do what is good and mentally healthy for you. You can’t be happy 80% of your life at your job!

  7. Amy @ Second City Randomness December 22, 2010 at 7:39 am #

    I’m sorry it was a rough day. 😦

    I had the conversation with Jaime and Mon about how it seems that short weeks always end up being some of the most hellish ones. Gross.

    I’m loving the little steak rolls you made. I feel like it’s something that came off of Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee!

    Hopefully today will be better!

  8. Tina @ Faith Fitness Fun December 22, 2010 at 10:01 am #

    Glad you had a happy package to cheer you up despite some rough work stuff. One day you will find a place that fills you in a work environment.

  9. TheSceneFromMe December 22, 2010 at 10:22 am #

    Oh girl, sorry about your sucky day/week/job. It would not be easy to wake up every day to go somewhere that you are beginning to despise. I sure hope you can get to a happier place soon as its not good on your health to be miserable. 🙂
    You do have that adorable lil puppy to go home too!
    And the mini steak rolls are such a good idea, I love the chive cream cheese also!

    Merry Christmas!

  10. Kace December 22, 2010 at 11:37 am #

    Sorry about the rough day : ( But dinner looks like it was yummy at least!

  11. Lisa @ Fit in the Midwest December 22, 2010 at 9:18 pm #

    I was sorry to read what you are going through, but I can also totally relate. I have a Masters degree and a Masters certificate, but I don’t love what I do every day. I really wish I could go back to school to become a Registered Dietitian, as I have just found my passion for food and fitness.

    Stay positive! I know it’s easier said than done, as I often become negative too quickly during my work day. Just telling myself to be positive sometimes helps.

  12. Katie H. December 23, 2010 at 10:33 am #

    I bet Lincoln was a happy pup with those leftovers!

    I think it would be so mentally exhausting to spend a majority of my waking hours working for a place that left me feeling soul-less. You are definitely entitled to your feelings. What is the voice in your head (that sounds schizo) telling you that you need to do? Life is short. Granted, you have to pay the bills and whatnot but if there is a step you want to take in a different direction, you should do it. ❤

  13. BikiniBy30 December 23, 2010 at 9:40 pm #

    Oh ugh! I hear ya sister! I’m workin’ on my dream career and it’s so hard to be patient! Big hugs!

  14. BikiniBy30 December 23, 2010 at 9:42 pm #

    Oh and Mr. BB30 is totally going to make your steak roll ups. I told him about them and his eyes lit up.

    • simplyshaka December 23, 2010 at 10:21 pm #

      Yay, his smiling eyes made me smile. They were seriously delish!

  15. spabettie December 24, 2010 at 3:36 am #

    aw, as always Linky is SO cute… I hope he cheered you up! sorry it was a bad day ❤

  16. Alex December 29, 2010 at 9:55 am #

    Well…hell. That second paragraph about your job….talk about hitting home. The exact same thoughts have been running through my head. And your sister is right; you don’t want that job to suck the soul right out of you.
    On a lighter note, just looking at those crescent rolls gave me an erection.

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