To love, to be loved, and to be a banker

So yesterday went by quickly whereas today dragged on. And I effed up big time at work. I noticed my mistake I made at the end of the day, had to stay late and discuss with a manager and still have to deal with it tomorrow. Plus I found some more issues with an account after I spoke with a manager and will have to figure that out as well tomorrow. I have a huge knot in my stomach since I will have to face more of this crap tomorrow and am not really looking forward to it. I know it’s not the end of the world but I hate that I don’t know what I’m doing with my role and am not confident of my abilities. The sun will come up tomorrow and the day after but I hate this feeling of dreading going into work.

  Just once, I would like to have a job that I acted liked and was semi passionate about. I hate waking up at 630A each morning, dreading the day and counting down the hours til 5 o’clock. I hate that I feel sick any time I’m about to call a customer with bad news. I hate that I work for a bank yet hate numbers. I hate that I’m too empathetic to do my job whereas other people are fine with practically driving customers to file for bankruptcy. I hate that my job (and former job) mentally exhausts me so much and has made me so bitter that I don’t have the energy to look for a relationship yet maintain one. I hate that I work for a corporation I don’t believe in. I hate that due to most of my experience within the bank, I can’t find anything else, even though I have a degree in journalism. I hate that I’m seriously considering withdrawing some of my 401K to live on for awhile so I can figure out what I want to do to with my life. I would just like to wake up Monday-Friday looking forward to something and not be completely miserable, I don’t think that’s asking for too much right? And huge brownie points for anyone who knows where the title of this post is from.

My package of goodies I ordered last week  from Sephora arriving at my door step didn’t even lift my spirits. Retail therapy, makeup and a surprise package in one?  Nope, didn’t even form a smile while opening so yeah, today wasn’t the best day.

Thank god I had a dinner plan in mind because I couldn’t handle another funky meal like last night. Since I am an emotional eater and all, I really wanted to just order take out and enjoy an insane amount of MSG from the local Chinese takeout joint but I stuck to my original plan–crescent rolls stuffed with onion and chive cream cheese and sandwich steak.

I cooked up the steak on the stovetop and seasoned with Spike seasoning. I didn’t even use oil or butter, the seasoning was the perfect thing to season with.

Then cut into little strips. Of course Lincoln got the leftovers.

I rolled out the crescent rolls to stretch them a little further than normal then spread cream cheese on them

Topped with steak bits

Then rolled up and let bake at 375 for 14 minutes.

I had broccoli on the side with a touch of spray butter and bam–quick, savory meal to end a horrid day.

Anyways, that was my day in a nutshell. Sorry if it was a bit of a downer but nothing wrong with some honesty right?

On a happier note—the winner of the Chobani giveaway is…….

Comment #13—Emily from “A Nutrionalist Eats”

emily (a nutritionist eats) December 16, 2010  “I’m liking chobani on facebook!”

Congratulations Emily! Please email me (simplyshaka @ gmail dot com) your mailing address so Chobani can send those out to you!

Thanks everyone for participating in the giveaway (if anyone knows how I can copy the damn random number generator into a post, it would be much appreciated!)

I’m going to zone out to Family Guy and get some puppy kisses from my little guy.

Hope everyone’s Tuesday was better than mine!