The World According to Lincoln

17 Jul

Arf Arf, this is Lincoln.

My momma still isn’t feeling well so I am going to write about today.

She fell asleep while watching Food Network. I was going in and out of sleep but I could still hear the tv on. First there was this loud, annoying brunette who kept saying things like “Yumm-o” and “E.V.O.O.” I have no clue what either of those mean. Next there was this couple making comfort food and couldn’t keep their hands off each other, I was a bit put off by this. The last show I remember was a southern woman with big hair making things with a lot of butter, I liked her and her food looked good.

My momma got up and decided to switch it up to the bedroom so we napped there for a while. She kept tossing and turning and so did I but eventually I had a dream about the cute Maltese I met yesterday who lives across the street from us. Her name is Sprinkles, she is cute and voluptuous. Momma got frustrated after a while with not being able to fall asleep so she got up to make something to eat. I don’t think she was too hungry but she needed something in her system so she made something she calls a green monster.

She broke out the blender and threw in some baby spinach, greek yogurt, ice, frozen blueberries, a banana and vanilla protein powder and blended for a long while. It was really noisy but it came out pretty and purple.

It must have been good b/c she slurped it up but I think she got a headache from drinking it too fast. We went back to the living room to watch tv and nap. She fell asleep to some show about wedding dresses but I really wish she would leave Animal Planet on if she is going to go to sleep so I can see some cute bitches. I’m stuck in this place all day and get to see some cuties when I go outside to do my thing but I like seeing bitches from other regions as well. Just like Ludacris, I want to have ho’s in different area codes. Throw a dog a bone!

This is my food, Chef Michael’s Rotisserie Chicken Flavor. I love this stuff–I think they lace it with doggie crack. I don’t really get too hungry during the day and am a night eater when momma is getting a good nights rest so she can rock it at work and pay for the both of us to live. And there’s always a lot of water, I need to stay hydrated!

We really didn’t do too much this afternoon, we went for a long walk before the rain started coming down and then just watched tv and cuddled, it was nice. She was watching this show called DC Cupcakes, about Georgetown Cupcake in DC, she was excited to watch the show because went there back in April and really enjoyed the cupcakes (but she kept saying that she liked Crumbs better).

Soon it was dinner time, momma bought some shrimp this morning along with stir fry vegetables such as mushrooms, zucchini and onion for a healthy, cheap meal.

I think she really enjoyed this she kept rubbing her belly and “Mmmmmm-ing” while eating it. She kept reaching for her water though so I think it was a tad too salty for her but she seemed satisfied afterwards. I hope we have more snuggle time later, her head hurts so I am sure that will be on the agenda!

Woof woof!

26 Responses to “The World According to Lincoln”

  1. lisaou11 July 18, 2010 at 12:48 am #

    hahah Lincoln is a great story teller ;).

    Love your last meal!

    So, I’m out of WV now. I had a great visit!

    • simplyshaka July 18, 2010 at 9:37 pm #

      Yay glad to hear you had a great time!

  2. Diana@mymarblerye July 18, 2010 at 1:53 am #

    Lmao! You are too much! You need to submit this post somewhere! Seriously most creative thing ever! I’ll copy and write it from my toliet’s perspective! Jk ! Ewww

  3. Monique@She's Going The Distance July 18, 2010 at 2:57 am #

    hahaha, such a cute idea!! I didn’t know Lincoln was a food blogger, too! Sorry you’re not feeling well girl :(

    Feel better soon! xx

    • simplyshaka July 18, 2010 at 9:38 pm #

      He loves the food, it’s just very rare I give him access to the computer :)

  4. April July 18, 2010 at 7:04 am #

    All I did yesterday was nap too??

    Tell your mommy the shrimp bowl looks good minus the shrooms ;)

  5. Autumn @ Good Eats Girl July 18, 2010 at 8:37 am #

    This is too cute! Good to hear from Lincoln! I hope you are feeling better!!

  6. christina July 18, 2010 at 9:36 am #

    omg your mom was watching rachel ray. she’s freaking annoying and her voice sounds like she has something caught in her throat. ugh. the second lady is paula deen and i wish she was my grandmother.

    omg.
    omg.
    omg.

    i started typing that before i finished reading your post and just now realized you were typing from lincoln’s perspective. HAHAHAHAHA

  7. livelaughloveandrun July 18, 2010 at 10:11 am #

    Dinner looks yummy!! I hope that you’re feeling better!!

  8. kelsey@snackingsquirrel.com July 18, 2010 at 2:54 pm #

    oh wow! haha what a great post! who knew Lincoln was THIS COOL! hehe.

    mmmm slurping down a smoothie :)

  9. Mari July 18, 2010 at 5:39 pm #

    Hi Lincoln! This is Koko…my mom let me use her phone to say hi! Your mom and my mom sound very similar except that mine can’t watch food shows because she turns into Audrey 2…

    and dude I am 16 and I still haven’t seen any bitches!

    • simplyshaka July 18, 2010 at 9:43 pm #

      Hey KoKo-it’s Lincoln, we can go cruising for bitches anytime you would like. I know where all the good parks out and the trees where they pee!

  10. thehungryscholar July 18, 2010 at 5:43 pm #

    Best post ever? in the food blog world? Yes.

    • simplyshaka July 18, 2010 at 9:42 pm #

      Woof woof woof (thanks Lincoln saying thanks!)

  11. sheila July 18, 2010 at 11:54 pm #

    this is like the cutest post ever! i’ve thought about posting a post from my dog before but i didn’t know how the readers felt about that. lol. :)

  12. Mo Diva July 19, 2010 at 10:21 am #

    lincoln you little pimp! You’ve inspired a possible story time entry that doesnt involve whiny sex fiends and cable guys.

  13. genesis July 19, 2010 at 11:36 am #

    youll have to do more posts lincol;n, youre quite the story teller!

    tell your momma i said HI!

  14. nic - the auspicious squirrel July 21, 2010 at 11:49 am #

    Lincoln is too cute. Hope you get to feeling better.

    Those Chinese noodles look tasty! :)

  15. nic - the auspicious squirrel July 21, 2010 at 2:16 pm #

    Where did you find those noodles?

    • simplyshaka July 22, 2010 at 9:09 pm #

      Thanks :)

      I got the noodles at Harris Teeter in the ethnic food section so I am sure they will have them at your local grocery store.

  16. happytalesblog January 16, 2011 at 7:58 pm #

    Ahhh such a cute post! Love hearing things from Lincoln’s perspective… So freakin’ funny! Esp. the ho’s from different area codes comment. I die.

    • simplyshaka January 16, 2011 at 10:01 pm #

      Hahaha, glad you enjoyed-he gets the blogging itch every now and then!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Yawn « Simply Shaka - July 18, 2010

    [...] Lincoln is a tad tired from posting yesterday [...]

  2. Guest Post: Lincoln-It’s My Birthday! « Simply Shaka - December 4, 2010

    [...] I took naps after my treats then we just hung out. I’m happy she let me blog, I’ve only posted once before but definitely want to do it more! And thanks everyone who comments how cute I am. She relays the [...]

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